Saturday 22 September 2007

Lure of the Swamp?

O Timely Ancient Wisdom! Yesterday I stumbled across the WikiHow instruction sheet for How to get out of Quicksand. I'm not into giving unasked for advice, but how about this suggestion list for bishops and archbishops looking forward to next year's Lambeth Conference?
  1. Avoid quicksand.
    Be on the lookout ... you can't detect quicksand just by looking at it. I Corinthians 10:12
  2. Walk softly and carry a big stick. Matthew 10:16

  3. Drop everything.
    Because your body is less dense than quicksand, you can't fully sink unless you panic and struggle too much (which will cause the sand to further liquefy) or you're weighed down by something heavy. Mark 6:8
  4. Relax.
    Quicksand usually isn't more than a couple feet deep. If you panic you can sink further, but if you relax, your body's buoyancy will cause you to float. Matthew 6:27
  5. Breathe deeply.
    Not only will deep breathing help you remain calm, it will also make you more buoyant. I Timothy 2:8
  6. Take your time.
    If you're stuck in quicksand, frantic movements will only hurt your cause. Whatever you do, do it slowly. Psalm 37:7
  7. Get plenty of rest.
    Other than panic, exhaustion is your worst enemy. Psalm 127:2
  8. Never hike alone.
    Always have a buddy. Hebrews 10:25
  9. Relax your head
    and keep your head up as much as you can without being Tense. Luke 21:28
Eh Voilà!

Remember “In public swimming pools most of the noise comes from the Shallow End”
(Robert Runcie)


Huw Richardson said...

Words full of wisdom from Robert Runcie.

Bishop Alan Wilson said...

Funnily enough, at the time I found Archbishop Runcie so urbane as to be rather cloying, but with hindsight I find that he often hit the nail on the head in a rather brilliant way...

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