I’ve got an exclusive for Fleet Street! This whole campus is teeming with rabbit life. It makes Teletubbyland look like a Sunday school outing. And this lot require no outing — these little chaps are most definitely robustly heterosexual.
Some wonder whether they have been intentionally supplied to add a touch of, er, bunny love to some potentially contentious proceedings. I don’t want to spread hysteria and panic about this conference, but I feel I should share with the world this Victorian patent for “a device to extract auditory and visual information from private gatherings of bishops, commonly known as an Episcope.” It was secretly developed for the use of the Archbishop of York in 1868, to keep him abreast of proceedings which, as you will remember, he had boycotted. But these days, who would do such a thing? And why? I think we should be told.