Thursday 17 January 2008

Creepy Man, Scary Stuff

Herr Doktor Gunther von Hagens, that is, with a plastinated chum. Catherine, Lucy and I caught a bit of TV last night — Channel 4’s Eat to Save your Life. Jamie Oliver tried to lighten the load with his usual cheeky chappie bit, but the outlook is as as dark as the Doktor’s hat. In a nutshell, and it looks as though we could do with more of those, the food we eat is killing us, from 70% junk sausages to Killer Kebabs. Hydrogenated Meat and no Veg makes Jack a bloated corpse — and the bloated corpse agrees. We gawked at the yellowing sheet of glutinous fat strangulating his heart and squeezing his lungs up into shriveled mangos higher than his tits. His most noticeable feature was a bloody great slab of what looked like foie gras and turned out to be... foie gras. Talk about a notorious evil liver. This guy managed to stay alive whilst morphing his into warm paté. 18 queasy members of the Great British public lurched ’n retched before Doktor Death’s Monitor of Mirth, wondering what was in their wallets.
Who wouldn’t?

The message was obvious and simple. Our friends in the food industry are rendering everything except the squeak, piling it high and selling it cheap, stashing away industrial quantities of salt and covering their tracks with sugar. Get your five a day, stay off the junk food as much as you can, read the label, and you'll make a pretty corpse. And the undertakers will have another ten years’ wait for you.

Food for Thought. But is knowing the truth enough to set you free in itself? Faith without works is dead, as the man said.


Rhys said...

except didn't alan coren say that sainbury's was created to keep the riff raff out of waitrose - reintroduction of cookery lessons? Oh no media studies is much more important! Chef-polemicists should work on changing the law, instead of preaching to the less well-off,,2241274,00.html

Bishop Alan Wilson said...

As usual, Alan Coren gets it in one! Many thanks for the Guardian piece. I'm not sure quite how the Chirpy One squares his foody stuff with working for Sainsbury's. He's probably a bit of a hypocrite, like the rest of us... I'd still rather not pickle my liver, whatever I earned. I support better protection for everyone, 100%. Meanwhile I'm more inclined to have a pop at the supermarkets than the foodies, because they seem to have more power to keep things the way they are. So a foody who works for a supermarket is a sitting duck!

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