- The Archbishop has got Funny Eyebrows and a Beard
- His academic lectures are Academic, and this is a Bad Thing for which he should apologise. Unlike the Welsh, who do poetry and stuff, the English idolise unreflective pragmatism. It’s the only country in the world where “Academic” is generally a withering term of abuse. Everywhere else, stupid is stupid. In roadhouse Telegraph it’s cool.
- I phoned the student loans company the other day, and they wouldn’t talk to me until I gave them my secret answer. I asked them what my secret question was, and they said it was a secret. In that spirit, nobody’s quite sure what exactly the question is, but many people have told me they don’t believe any of our politicians would have had the moral courage to raise it. It's good that it has been raised, but it should certainly never be raised again. England is made of inward facing rings within rings — nobody likes turning outwards.
- Jesus talked about Pearls ’n Swine. Bishops seeking a quiet life need to remember at all times how new model hi-profit lo-cost media actually work:
This particular revelation is from Mr Show. Bear it in mind also as you enjoy breathless tales about gays ’n schisms — enjoy, but don't inhale.