Monday 23 June 2008

Far more deadly than the Male...

I’m trying to contain my disappointment at not being invited to Gafcon by watching Matthew Sweet’s delicious celebration of the British B movie, Truly, Madly, Cheaply (available on the iPlayer for 6 more days). My favourite was Devil Girl from Mars (1954). It makes Ed Wood look like Kubrick.

The IMDB warns “The plot synopsis of this film is empty.” But I look upon that statement as a challenge. Niyah, a shiny six footer in kinky boots and PVC cycle cape, comes straight from Mars. But what’s she doing over here? Well, Mars, now governed by women, has run out of men. Probably eaten by kinky devil girls. Let’s hope they died happy. So Niyah has come over here, accompanied by a Kelvinator Chunky Robot who doesn’t like trees, to replenish with hearty highland stock. All she can find on the moors are tweedy old gits with pebble glasses, and twinset girls in two piece business suits. Hope springs eternal at a humble highland guest house — They don’t do Bombay Mix, but they have got a desirably plummy Harry Enfield male lead.
NIYAH (for it is She): Fools!
DPHEML: Mrs Jamieson! May I introduce your latest guest. This is Niyah. she comes from Mars.
CRABBY LANDLADY: Oh, well that’ll be another bed.
Quite. You can work out the rest for yourself.

But these things were written for our learning. This is the summer of love when General Synod votes on female bishops, and some real ones come to Lambeth. Some will remember that Item 1 on the radical feminist agenda was a fantastic night of terror that menaced the fate of the world back in 1954. “Mankind’s greatest threat is a single woman.” The more reflective and mission minded among us will think that 50 years on it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee.

4 comments:

Steve Hearn said...

A woman from Mars..... think I prefer a woman from venus...hehehe... will be interesting to see how far the Synod will go as these past years have seen so much change to the tradition of the Anglican communion. Change is good but are we rewriting our Anglican denomination to fit a worldly view?

Bishop Alan Wilson said...

Many thanks for the Venus/ Mars angle. I think it's important to think through why we are doing what we do, as well as what. The world in the Scriptures is in one sense good (God so loved the world) and in another bad (keep oneself unstained from the world). But I would have to observe the original closing down of all leadership in the church to celibate males was in itself a reflection of some worldly values from Aristotle and the schoolmen of the XIth Century. At the end of Romans it's plain that leadership was nothing like this in the early Church, but relevant to their culture and needs. What's so holy about the roman empire?

Anonymous said...

Bishop Alan,

Is the devil woman's spaceship a boy??? See from 00.21"...

Bishop Alan Wilson said...

I'm with yer, Paul. That probuscis would mean only one thing round here. Maybe all the little boys were turned into spacecraft?

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