30 years ordained this year, and someone asked me what I thought I’d learnt. That conversation gave birth to a few stray thoughts on the back of an envelope. It would be rather grand to call them laws of Vicaring, but here goes (in no particular order of importance):- If someone says Jesus has healed their wooden leg, rejoice, but be sure to kick them in the shins first, just to make sure.
- If you get away with it and it works, fine. If it doesn’t and they catch you, just cough up cheerfully and enjoy all the times you got away with it
- Do the job you’re doing now with all your heart, not the one you used to do in your last parish, or hope to do in your next. Time flies when you’re having fun...
- Don't ask until you’ve worked out the question. Only ask people questions they are likely to answer in the way you want. Also, Don't ask when the baby is due until the new lady in Church has actually told you she is pregnant. Never ask a Lawyer “Can we do this?” The question is always “How can we do this?”
- Pick up the bloody phone! (This applies to outgoing as well as incoming calls)
- You do not have their P45's in your back pocket, so always explain, always apologise
- Make the other lot line up with their own rulebook, and have a go at doing so yourself before you propose change
- Be extremely loyal to your predecessors. They are your most powerful secret weapon, along with people who pray quietly at home.
- Schedule your free time as zealously as you would a funeral. Your family are the closest members of the body of Christ. Strive not to be toxic to them, and remember they didn't ask to have you for a parent.
- Beware Grand Designs, especially your own. Dolus latet in generalibus — the Devil's in the detail, along with the delight...
- You can't argue with whining, but you can with anger. Damaged, angry people have their own reward. Bless ’em all.
- Rigid faith is often brittle. In the Kingdom the first often come last and the last first. You are not God's minders, or managers, but guides who should strive to be reliable and trustworthy (I Corinthians 4)
- You inherited far more than you realise. Before you go buy a new tool, check the old toolbox you seldom use and nine times out of ten you've already got one. Revolution by tradition!
- All constructive change works from the inside out — “You can sleep in the Garage, but it don't make you an automobile” (Billy Graham?)
- This job is about the how and why of people’s lives, including your own. You accomlish for more long term than you think, and far less in the here and now: “I think I've far exceeded what I ever thought I could possibly do. I'm almost shocked that I'm still around after all these years . . . and always grateful that I get another turn to do something.” (Billy Crystal)
- “The Church doesn’t need new members half as much as it needs the old lot making over.” (Billy Sunday)
PS the rather wonderful window is in Aston Sandford, and shows two Churches, Aston Sandford on the Left and Thame on the Right. More about Aston Sandford another time, but my thanks to those who hosted a wonderful Sunday morning together last week, including lunch together. Above all, thanks for all you do the rest of the time...
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10 comments:
I like that very very much and may requote it!
One rule that is impressed upon me from time to time is that God doesn't ask us to be succesful, but he does ask us to be faithful. Besides, nowhere in my Bible does the word 'success' ever appear (I remain open to question though).
Or as one Church in Wales Vicar once ably summarised to me 'Don't ask me: I'm in sales not management'...
A fine post! Oe of my rules, a variant of your no. 4, is "If you don't want the wrong answer, don't ask the question."
"A satsuma is not a failed orange." I heard it only recently, and it apparently does the rounds in rural ministry training - but it could apply wherever a congregation bemoans its smallness.
P45s?
Sorry, must be a British thing...
The P45 is the tax document you get when you leave an employment, Tim.
My favorite is #2....we always say, it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission, but I like the "do it cheerfully" part!
What is a P45? And what do you mean by that sentence? These are really great.
A wondrous list, for which thanks to all. "A satsuma is not a failed orange" certainly needs to go high on the roster, along with Richard's clearer formulation about asking questions of authority.
I'm sorry to have mentioned the P45 — it's what used to be called "your cards" in other words your job. What I meant was that pretty much all the people we work with in Church aren't employed by us, so some of the routines of command and control that we may become accustomed to at work simply don't have the same, or indeed any, role in the Kingdom. the rule also helps us keep in touch with the fact that people's motives in undertaking ministry tasks in Church are grounded in their passion and enthusiasm, not fear of unemployment.
I also like that very much and may seek retaliation it. I also appreciated all of you. Thanks very much.
I'd perhaps add Bowsher's dictum:
you can often tell a church that is doing the business by whether it attracts those who wider society finds hard to cope with and if the church doesn't do that, it's probably doing something wrong.
Thanks for these: I've noted the ones that resonate best for me at http://nouslife.blogspot.com/2009/12/analects-of-wisdom.html
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