Ministry: Rudiments of Wisdom

30 years ordained this year, and someone asked me what I thought I’d learnt. That conversation gave birth to a few stray thoughts on the back of an envelope. It would be rather grand to call them laws of Vicaring, but here goes (in no particular order of importance):

1. If someone says Jesus has healed their wooden leg, rejoice, but be sure to kick them in the shins first, just to make sure.
   
   
2. If you get away with it and it works, fine. If it doesn’t and they catch you, just cough up cheerfully and enjoy all the times you got away with it
   
   
3. Do the job you’re doing now with all your heart, not the one you used to do in your last parish, or hope to do in your next. Time flies when you’re having fun...
   
   
4. Don't ask until you’ve worked out the question. Only ask people questions they are likely to answer in the way you want. Also, Don't ask when the baby is due until the new lady in Church has actually told you she is pregnant. Never ask a Lawyer “Can we do this?” The question is always “How can we do this?”
   
   
5. Pick up the bloody phone! (This applies to outgoing as well as incoming calls)
   
   
6. You do not have their P45's in your back pocket, so always explain, always apologise
   
   
7. Make the other lot line up with their own rulebook, and have a go at doing so yourself before you propose change
   
   
8. Be extremely loyal to your predecessors. They are your most powerful secret weapon, along with people who pray quietly at home.
   
   
9. Schedule your free time as zealously as you would a funeral. Your family are the closest members of the body of Christ. Strive not to be toxic to them, and remember they didn't ask to have you for a parent.
   
   
10. Beware Grand Designs, especially your own. Dolus latet in generalibus — the Devil's in the detail, along with the delight...
    
    
11. You can't argue with whining, but you can with anger. Damaged, angry people have their own reward. Bless ’em all.
    
    
12. Rigid faith is often brittle. In the Kingdom the first often come last and the last first. You are not God's minders, or managers, but guides who should strive to be reliable and trustworthy (I Corinthians 4)
    
    
13. You inherited far more than you realise. Before you go buy a new tool, check the old toolbox you seldom use and nine times out of ten you've already got one. Revolution by tradition!
    
    
14. All constructive change works from the inside out — “You can sleep in the Garage, but it don't make you an automobile” (Billy Graham?)
    
    
15. This job is about the how and why of people’s lives, including your own. You accomlish for more long term than you think, and far less in the here and now: “I think I've far exceeded what I ever thought I could possibly do. I'm almost shocked that I'm still around after all these years . . . and always grateful that I get another turn to do something.” (Billy Crystal)
    
    
16. “The Church doesn’t need new members half as much as it needs the old lot making over.” (Billy Sunday)

That’s enough Billies for now. I’m sure everyone has discovered their own rules — the floor is yours!

PS the rather wonderful window is in Aston Sandford, and shows two Churches, Aston Sandford on the Left and Thame on the Right. More about Aston Sandford another time, but my thanks to those who hosted a wonderful Sunday morning together last week, including lunch together. Above all, thanks for all you do the rest of the time...

Remembrance on the roads

On Sunday I was in Thame to help lead the annual Thames Valley Police Road Death Victims service. 3 people a week die on our local roads, 70% of them under 45. That this is one of thirty events around the country indicates the sheer scale of the heartache that people have to carry after these catastrophic bereavements. Worldwide, it’s the equivalent of a 9/11 every day. David Wilbraham, force chaplain reminded us never to forget in the dark that which we knew in the light of those we love. He quoted an old bit of wisdom from Lancashire mill towns where he served his curacy, which calls all of our life a weaving:

Not till the loom is silent, And shuttles cease to fly,
Will God unroll the canvas, And explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful In the Skillful Weaver’s hand,
As the threads of gold & silver In the pattern He has planned.

Road death is the sort of problem most of us just don’t want to think of most of the time, but it happens every day. Dr Cicely Davey, who lost her husband only two years ago recited a poem. The courage of the people I met was overwhelming, and the kindness and consideration of those present from Police, Ambulance, Fire & rescue and NHS emergency services. Every day they tackle what has to be one of the most harrowing and unpleasant jobs there is, and here they were helping people through the long term slog of coping with what happened in an instant, gently and considerately. Also there were Roadpeace, Brake, and Sara Thornton, Chief Constable. The service culminated with an act of remembrance with white petals on the altar, one for each life commemorated, and two minutes silence. Supt Mick Doyle led prayers near the end of the service:

We can shed tears that they have gone
Or we can smile that they have lived.
We can close our eyes and pray that they will come back
Or we can open our eyes and see all the good they have left us.
Our hearts can be empty because we cannot see them
Or our hearts can be full with the love we have shared.
We can turn our backs on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or we can be happy for tomorrow, because of yesterday.
We can remember them and only that they have gone
Or we can cherish their memory and let it live on.
We can cry and close our minds, be empty and turn our backs
Or we can do what they would have wanted:
Smile, open our eyes, love and go on.