Grim Reaper picks up sticks

Last of this year's Stick Insects has now curled up its toes. MacLeay’s Wraiths weren’t discovered until 1828, but if they had been, they’d have been popular in the Middle Ages, as reminders of slow and constant mortality. They develop papery, blotchy skin, lose their grip, and finally start falling to pieces, when, in the course of nature, something would snaffle them up, no doubt.

Bits of Tinky Winky II started falling off a week or so ago, and she ended up doing a kind of Byronic deathbed scene on leaves at the bottom of the tank, because she couldn’t hang from brambles any more but was obviously still just alive. We hope she died happy.

We should have provided piped Mahler for a kind of Death in Venice effect. Try that next year. Woodland burial out the back was this morning. We have 600 eggs for next year, expected to start hatching this autumn. MacLeay’s Wraiths live just under a year, so anthropomorphically minded fans will be glad to know that each Stick Insect Year is about 4 days....

Giant Prickly Virgin Births

Ah! Bless! Parthenogenesis in our very own home on Christmas Eve. After a week or so of voracious bramble chomping in the tank, the complete stripping of all vegetation from their habitat, our first stick insect egg of this batch arrived last week, and now has six sisters.

Like other phasmids, MacLeay’s Spectres (Extatosoma Tiarata) reproduce in two ways —

1. Standard sexual reproduction (Vatican approved) which produces males and females, females with wing cases and males who fly. But for that you need males. We don’t have any, thus the girlie Phasmid Canoodling pictured below.
   
2. Parthenogenesis. Yes! Real Parthenogenesis! But I caution earnestly against any attempt to build a Dawkins busting Virgin Birth sermon out of such phenomena. I once heard it attempted, and it made Jesus sound simultaneously like a freak (some kind of superior stick insect) and a run of the mill natural phenomenon, and both are exactly not what St Matthew had in mind. And, of course, what the preacher forgot was that if this model provides any insight into events in the first century holy land, Jesus would have been a girl.
   

So, it’s seven Girls! and we await some 700 little sisters for them from our five giant prickly virgins in their tank. This could challenge those with wonky thinking about paradise — Good news, here are your 700 virgins: Bad news, they’re all stick insects — Hallelujah!

There is Balm in Richfield, Ohio...

Only 24 hours since my Pet Stick Insect died and I’m missing it already. I know, all it did was eat brambles, lay eggs and fall apart. It was still a pretty damn cool stick insect, right?

This is a job for Pet Tribute Creations of Richfield, Ohio — people who care so much, it hurts. I realise a Giant Prickly Stick Insect may present something of a challenge, but these guys are professionals. All I do is select a theme, Jesus, flowers, doves. Actually I think Doves eat stick insects. Having one of them could be kind of tasteless. Jesus it is, seen here consoling Tiddles for the loss of Mrs Snodgrass. Or perhaps it's Mrs Snodgrass for the loss of Tiddles. Or Jesus for the loss of both? Whatever.

Then, for only $19·99 they will photoshop me Jesus with my former chum into a “small single frame — perfect next to an urn.” Actually there isn’t an urn. We, er buried it. Or perhaps we threw it out. Or the (surviving) cat might have got it. I don’t remember which, I was upset at the time. Actually it didn't even have a name. When our 300 eggs hatch out, next time, we must remember to give them all names. Perhaps I am not yet emotionally equipped to handle this pet-loss-with-Jesus thing. But give it time...