SPCK / SSG: Brewers Skewered

Time for a provisional Te Deum, as the UK Charity Commission takes formal action about the mess surrounding the former SPCK Bookshops & the St Stephen the Great Trust. More details from Mark Bennett here. You may have followed the unfolding tale on the SPCK/SSG Blog feed here. It’s good that law is now taking its course.

As well as saluting the courage and refusal to give in to bullies of Dave Walker, Phil Groom, David Keen and Matt Wardman (among others), we will hope and pray, above all, that some good comes to employees whose lives seem to have been damaged in all sorts of ways by the way the Brewers have conducted their business. USDAW is involved but, as Hochstaplers down the ages have been inclined to say, “No court in the land can extract from me money I no longer have,” so all may not be plain sailing.

And should Texas T-Bone nouveau Orthodox ever again announce that Christianity is all washed up in England and offer to save it by buying up Christian boookshops and old churches, we will be able to say “thanks, but no thanks,” knowing this notion for the mendacious twaddle it is — what Texans might call a prime Crock o’ Faeces.

Become an Instant Myers-Briggs Bore

Back in my adult education days, the most annoying person I met was, let’s call her, Rita Queen of Speed, an instant Myers-Briggs (MBTI) expert. She had spent a couple of days analysing herself and, it seemed all the world, on some ruddy workshop. Her every sentence was peppered with phrases like “Well, as an ISFJ I believe...” or “Of course St Paul was an INTJ...” Grrr...! Aaaargh!! Mummy! Show me the way to the nearest gas oven!!

Well, now we can all do an instant RQOS with a wondrous gadget called Typealyzer (h/t Steve Hayes). Feed in any blog address and it tells you its Myers-Briggs type. Instantly. Save Money on Workshops! Annoy your friends by analyzing their blogs! Nothing personally intrusive, you understand, but this tool comes complete with a pictographic analysis of your Brain at the time of writing...

So, here is this blog is this morning, according to Typealyzer:

ISTP — the Mechanics

The independent and problem-solving type. They are especially attuned to the demands of the moment are masters of responding to challenges that arise spontaneously. They generally prefer to think things out for themselves and often avoid inter-personal conflicts.

The Mechanics enjoy working together with other independent and highly skilled people and often like seek fun and action both in their work and personal life. They enjoy adventure and risk such as in driving race cars or working as policemen and firefighters.

Ach Zu! So we mechanics often like to seek fun and action in our personal lives? Really? I thought we just wasted time on our laptops.

And, just to indulge my inner RQOS Myers-Briggs Bore, here are one or two of my favourites and heroes this morning:
Steve Hayes:
Also, like this, ISTP (Mechanics)
Simon Sarmiento’s Thinking Angicans:
Also, Like this, ISTP (Mechanics)
Is a common theme emerging here?
Now for the Clincher, mon Pièce de Résistance:
Dave Walker’s Dullest Blog in the World:
Also, Like this, ISTP (Mechanics)!

Yesss!

SPCK shops — Wet Fish rotting

Even with my mind was on higher things, I've been following the unfolding saga of SPCK bookshops and the Brewers, but somewhat from afar. I see it’s now made Private Eye again. This is certainly a classic Eye Story:

More on the Texan Brewer Brothers who presided over the disastrous demise of the SPCK chain of Christian bookstores.

The St Stephen the Great Charitable Trust (SSG) claims not to have the money to pay their former employees (see Eye 1214), but appeared to have somewhow scraped together the pennies to pay lawyers to silence cartoonist Dave Walker who had written about the affair on his blog...

...the saga has been taken up by other bloggers who have been checking out the US bankruptcy filings, which may explain why SSG can afford to pay the lawyers. The “disclosure of compensation of attorney for debtor” shows that for legal services rendered in connection with the bankruptcy case SSG is to pay $75,000 to lawyer J. Mark Brewer, who also happens to be.... chairman and CEO of SSG!

PS: As the Eye went to press, a number of other bloggers had received C[ease] and D[esist] letters from J. Mark Brewer, including Rev Sam Norton of West Mersea. Brewer’s correspondence now makes the bizarre claim that “Neither English nor American law permits you to engage in what you term ‘fair comment’ with respect to a private company, nor with respect to a private individual — namely, me.”

Thanks and greatest respects to Matt Wardman, Sam Norton and Phil Groom, who have borne the heat of the day. It’s an almost perfect example of the Streisand Effect — named after the attempt by Barbra of that Ilk to prevent her house appearing on the internet. Like a bizarre game of swatting the mole, every attempt to ban the picture increased the number online, until she had given her name to a whole new “groundswell” phenomenon. The whole SSG/SPCK fiasco demonstrates that to run a chain of bookshops you need staff, stock, suppliers and customers, as well as crusading zeal and views somewhre over to the Right of Genghis Khan.

Hippo Birdy 2 this

What about taking in a conference this summer, I wonder? I’m off to Chicago for the Willow Creek Leadership Summit, on the day this blog is one year old. In that time, for the record, Google Analytics tells me it’s had 103,747 views as a result of 58,446 visits from 23,838 absolutely unique visitors. These stats remind me of the Life of Brian where he tells the crowd “you’re all individuals!” and they respond “we’re all individuals!” apart from one lone voice that adds “I’m not!” As I leave the country, reflecting on all the challenges revealed at Lambeth and elsewhere, I think of the apocalyptic guff emanating from our friends in the media and elsewhere, using a brilliant bit of inspiration from the unique and very individual Dave Walker.

Lambeth — The Real Deal

As the Lambeth Conference 2008 group photographs go out, the true picture is emerging — drawn by Dave Walker, cartoonist in residence. We’re all there, in gruesome detail. Having Dave around has given a real sense of proportion to the conference, and some contact with outer reality. Dave’s presence has greatly blessed us., more than he will ever know, perhaps.

SPCK Bookshops — Gags & Gimcrack

The funniest thing in the exhibition area today was this card by Dave Walker. I was disturbed to come back this afternoon and discover he has had a “Cease and Desist” order served on him from Texas, arising from blog entries tracing the fate of former SPCK Bookshops. The news itself has now disappeared from Dave’s site — surely not a censorship notice censored?!

SPCK used to be a worthy chain of Christian bookshops, often in Cathedral cities, run by a slightly retro but worthy charity. Faced with mounting losses they turned to the Saint Stephen the Great Trust — a robustly Conservative Texas Orthodox outfit. SSG planned to grow the bookshops as a resource against secularism. Two years on, this plan is in tatters, amidst recriminations about bad labour practice and unpaid bills. One former manager has, tragically, taken his life. The contents of the stores have been weeded of unsuitable content, stock has plummeted, the public have deserted the shops, and some have closed. Plainly the skills required to sabre rattle for reactionary causes are very different from those you need to run a bookshop, let alone re-evangelise England.

Former Staff had been filing inside stories on Dave’s blog. Now a gagging order has been served and, unable to risk high legal costs, Dave has had to comply. I have only loosely followed the story, but I can’t remember anything remotely actionable on Dave’s site. Now it’s been taken down I wonder what SSG was so ashamed about that it wanted it suppressed? The rapid and pathetic decline of the bookselling business betokens management way out of its depth. Its latest behaviour raises questions also about bullying and free speech. Heavy handed or what?

Worth at least a thousand words

Dave Walker has been bringing clarity to the three options outlined in the Manchester Report — absolutely brilliantly. The one that caught my eye was his graphic depiction of option III (“3 non geographic dioceses”). Pretty much says it all, really.

So it’s over to the politicians of the General Synod now. To paraphrase the Prophet Amos (3:3), (as genteely as possible) the fact is that, er, two half bottoms do not a whole bottom make...

As is only right, immense amounts of care have gone into trying to help out those opposed to women’s ordination. Various schemes, (such as TEA), were ingenious attempts to square the circle, but apparently did not help the people for whom they were designed. A strong code of practice alongside the legislation will help everyone engage with reality charitably. Because of the way this discussion has been almost entirely framed around the objections of opponents, people may forget other salient facts:

1. Everybody has a conscience, including those who believe that Galatians 3:28 does apply to the sociological setup of ordained ministry, and ecumenical partners who are scandalised by the C of E’s present practice.
   
2. Everybody is capable of feeling pain, including women whose ministries are rejected or marginalised within our present arrangements.
3. Gradualism has been the way until now — women preaching in the 60’s, deacons in the 80’s, priests in the 90’s... If, however, you are turning a turtle, the kindest way to do it is probably to pick up the shell and do it, not one leg at a time.
   

Telemarketers meet their match

Whether it’s Fawlty Towers or the Blitz, true Brits know how to grin and bear it. They dislike their banks intensely but haven’t the gumption to change. After 35 miserable years of Barclays Bank, I was phoned this week by their telemarketers. Last March an undercover BBC Whistleblower programme pictured lies, security abuse, mis-selling and cynicism about customers that seem to be rife there. When the notoriety spread, yea even to Dave Walker's Cartoon Blog, I had to sit up and take notice:

This is the company who made 7 billion pounds profit last year and yet charge people £30 to go overdrawn when the cost to them is about £1.50. The programme showed telephone operatives engaging in all sorts of dubious behaviour, such as pretending they are calling as an ‘advisor’ when in fact it is purely a sales call. Then an advisor in a local branch attempting to sell home insurance to a man who can’t afford a bed in an attempt to meet a target. And many other such horrors.

Of course at the end of the programme there is a management-type person saying that what the programme reveals is not typical and that actually Barclays are respectable and lovely. But the fact is that we know (from experience) that Barclays hassle their customers with sales calls, so I know which side of the story I’m believing.

Here’s one radical solution to the telemarketer problem. If I had the gumption for it, of course, I'd have changed banks years ago. Just let me know how you get on...

Walloon Evangelism Process Failure

Last Saturday, Evangelism. This Saturday, thanks to Dave Walker’s wonderful Cartoon Blog (complete with excellent cartoon) How Not to Do It.

This is the story of a Norfolk pastor called Leslie Potter, who has been evangelising by sticking his sermons in old plastic bottles and chucking them into the North Sea hoping they will land in Germany or France, people will get them out and read them, and so be evangelised. In fact the wind did blow, and the Billows did rise (like they do), and the Word of Life was soon back on the beach, annoying the dogwalkers. Said DW’s got the sermons out instead of the Germans, and told the council, who have now done poor ol’ Pastor Leslie for littering. You couldn’t make this stuff up.

There are various messages in these particular bottles:

1. Jesus was right (Luke 5:38) — new wine really does need new containers.
   
2. (Dave’s questions) What language did he do it in? and (supplementary, but Poirot fans want to know) what’s wrong with the Belgians?
   
3. This story contains all the elements that make UK Retro enamel badge Evangelicalism so appealing — faith collapsed into hopeless optimism, sociopathic well-meaningness, Holy disregard of collateral reality, high minded determintion to persist and be right. On the Western Front this guy (if only he survived ten minutes) would have got promotion.
   
4. The best bit is, who knows, maybe someone was even more blessed than the dogwalkers were annoyed, perhaps by the sheer loonery of it! Only time will tell.
   
5. Even for those old enough to remember that 60’s classic The Gospel Blimp, This has to be, surely, the most dumb*ss tactic ever to Propogate the Gospel in Foreign Parts. Unless, that is, you know otherwise...